My girlfriends and I have to suffer through NFL football. My last boyfriend had the Sunday NFL Ticket and the NFL Network, so I was subjected to stories about the National Football League all week long. And fantasy football made him and his friends behave like a child. Congress really needs to ban fantasy football, and I mean it.
Anyway, I was part of a group of “football widows” who had to put up with the NFL every fall. I guess I wasn’t a widow, since I wasn’t married, but I felt like he was cheating on me with a football league, of all things.
For our own amusement, the girls and I decided to have our own fantasy footballgame, of sorts. We decided to make a game of it. Since our boyfriends and husbands were always watching this trash, we decided to watch along with them, except we were scouting for something entirely different. We were looking for the hottest NFL players.
The football hottie group never came to a consensus, of course. It’s hard to know every football player in the NFL, especially when they wear those gaudy helmets most of the time. For one thing, us girls had widely different tastes in men.
There were a few football players we all agreed on, though. I had my favorites. There was even a sleeper or two that one of us came across, mainly by accident. With several months of hard work, here is the list of 10 NFL player we’d like to date.
10. Tony Gonzalez – Kansas City Chiefs
Tony Gonzalez is a Pro Football Hall of Fame tight end, which is really good, for those women who aren’t up on the NFL. He’s getting later in his career, considered “old” by NFL standards. By real life standards, Tony Gonzalez is in his prime at 32 years old.
Tony Gonzalez is a hero, too. This last offseason, he saved a man’s life who was choking to death in a restaurant. While other patrons either panicked or watched helplessly as the man struggled, Tony walked over, gave the man the Heimlich and saved his life. That’s cool under pressure, which is what you would expect from a Hall of Fame player.
Maybe Tony Gonzalez is only for certain women. He’s a big hulk of a man, standing 6’5″ and 250 lbs. But that’s muscle, all muscle. Tony Gonzalez was a basketball player in college and is known for his “soft hands”. I think I like the sound of that.
Unfortunately, I think Tony Gonzalez may be technically (or is it unofficially) married. He had a “promise ceremony” with a girlfriend this last summer, and says he “considers himself married”. My question is, why not have a real ceremony? You know he can afford it. If I were Tony Gonzalez’s fiance/wife, I would be a little suspicious.
9. Adam Archuleta – Free Agent
Adam Archuleta has been around, and I’m not talking about the dating game. (Though that’s probably the case, too.) Adam Archuleta has played safety for the St. Louis Rams, Chicago Bears, Washington Redskins and Oakland Raiders. The Raiders cut Adam Archuleta just before the season, so he’s a free agent right now. The Raiders don’t know what they’re doing anyway, so I don’t count that. Adam will be back in the NFL. Since he’s not on a team, I put Archuleta lower than I probably would have, otherwise.
Archuleta is known for his intensive workout regimen, specifically his weight lifting. Don’t think Adam Archuleta is a musclehead, though. He’s thin and athetic and Adam looks like he’d be really intense. Not sure what his football skills are, but I’m guessing they’re marginal. Who cares?
Let me warn the girls, though. Adam Archuleta is engaged to a Playboy Playmate: Jennifer Walcott. Jennifer is a beauty and she’s got good taste, too. I really, really hate her.
8. Jason Taylor – Washington Redskins
Most of you remember Jason Taylor from Dancing With The Stars. Jason Taylor has model good looks and great dance moves. He finished 2nd on the 6th Season of Dancing With The Stars, and I still wonder why he didn’t win the show outright. You might remember that Jason was also one of People Magazine’s 200 100 Most Beautiful People.
Those women not familiar with the National Football League might not know that Jason Taylor was a star with the Miami Dolphins for over ten years. Jason Taylor was one of the league leaders in the NFL in sacks several years, even in the 2007 season, when the Dolphins were 1-15 — which is really bad in the NFL. Jason Taylor also won the 2007 Walter Payton Man of the Year Award, which is given to the NFL player who does most in charity and volunteer work. This didn’t keep Bill Parcells from wanting to get rid of Jason Taylor in 2008, because Bill Parcells didn’t like Jason Taylor going on Dancin’ With The Stars.
So now Jason Taylor is with the Washington Redskins. He’s been hurt a lot this season, but he’ll probably bounce back next year. That really doesn’t matter, though. A few injuries do nothing to hurt Jason Taylor’s overall hotness. I’ll put him at #8 on my list, because he might be retiring from pro football in the next couple of years. I’m sure he’ll do tv or movies when he does.
Note: Jason Taylor is married to the sister of his longtime teammate, Zach Thomas. Zach Thomas, another longtime star on the Dolphins Defense and definitely not making any Top 10 Hot Lists, was also run out of town by Bill Parcells. You might keep an eye on this one, girls. A couple of years ago, Jason Taylor and his wife were talking about splitting up.
7. Will Demps – Houston Texans
Will Demps has travelled around the NFL as a defensive back. Demps has settled in New York City with the Houston Texans, his current team. Before playing these last two years with the Texans, Will Demps played with the New York Giants and the Baltimore Ravens. But let me give you other Will Demps facts.
Will Demps has a way with women. He once gave a training seminar for 300 women, showing them the basics of football. Will Demps has a way with kids. He once took 50 needy children on a shopping spree through a Wal-Mart. And he’s volunteered for a Kindergarten reading program, where Will Demps and teammates went into schools to help children learn how to read. Will also claims to be a man of “faith and praying”, for all you ladies who find that important.
Also, Will Demps is hot. And he has no known major girlfriends at the moment, despite lots of internet speculation about the girl friends he keeps around. That means Will Demps could be available, girls. That smile could be yours.
Okay, my sister thinks I’m crazy on this one. She thinks Tony Romo is ugly, even if she thinks he could do better than Jessica Simpson. That’s one thing my sister and I agree on.
Now I understand, Tony Romo has big ears. I’ll give you that. But he also has a dimpled smile and an easy confidence about him. Tony Romo is charming, even if all my boyfriends hate the Dallas Cowboys. Maybe that’s what makes Tony Romo attractive, the fact that a date with Tony Romo would drive all my exes crazy. GO COWBOYS!
Besides, it’s hard to escape Tony Romo these days. You see his face in the line at the checkout counter. You see pictures of him and Jessica frolicking in People or Entertainment Weekly. (I won’t admit to looking at the tabloids. Oops, I guess I just did. Ditz.) Fact being, I like Tony Romo.
5. Matt Forte – Chicago Bears
I think this young prospect has promise. This 23-year old rookie running back for the Chicago Bears was drafted low, but has been a star in his 1st NFL season. My biggest hesitation with putting Matt Forte on this list is that my ex-boyfriend drafted Matt onto his fantasy football team, so “Brad” was always talking about “how great a pick” Forte was. Ugh.
That aside, Matt Forte looks like good runner to me. If he would get rid of that silly goatee he wears a lot of the time, I put him higher up this list. In the NFL, you have to draft young talent every once in while, so your team doesn’t get old. That’s what I’m doing by putting Matt Forte in my Top Ten. I’m “going young”, as they say in football.
I might have added a younger quarterback to this list like Matt Ryan or Joe Flacco, but neither of them really do it for me. Matt Ryan is looks like a Boy Scout, while Joe Flacco looks like he came from Ugly Street. Matt Forte came from the hot side of town.
4. Wes Welker – New England Patriots
When I see Wes Welker, I just want to hug him. He looks like a little boy out on the football field. I know that sounds funny, because Wes Welker tied for the NFL lead in catches last year. He was a big star on the New England Patriots team that went 18-0 to start the season. And at 5’9″, Wes Welker is an average-sized guy. It’s just that he looks tiny compared to all those linebackers and nose tackles.
One great thing about Wes Welker is that he’s Tom Brady’s friend and receiver. So a woman could go after Tom Brady, hoping to snag the NFL’s #1 hottie. If that didn’t work, then you could cry on the shoulder of Tom’s best friend, Wes. You could become friends, and then maybe it would turn into something more. Wes Welker would be the ultimate consolation prize.
Another great thing about Wes Welker is his tenacity. I read a story that he wasn’t even offered a college scholarship, because they thought he was too small to play NCAA football. He eventually got a scholarship and was a huge star for Texas Tech. When he got to the NFL, no one believed in Welker. But through skill and hard work, he proved that he’s as good a player as all the workout freaks. Wes Welker is a winner, and I like winners.
I think most of you girls like winners, because we’ve certainly dated enough losers in our lives.
3. Kerry Rhodes – New York Jets
Kerry Rhodes is a safety for the New York Jets. Kerry lives in New York City, which is always glamorous seeming when you’re a millionaire. In fact, being a New York football player is a good break for these NFL guys, because Kerry Rhodes is getting into acting. He’s in two movies that will come out in the next year or so: Misunderstandings and Queen of Media.
It helps that Kerry Rhodes has a model’s good looks. He’s been featured on a dozen different magazine covers. It also helps that Kerry Rhodes seems like a genuinely nice guy. Kerry has his own foundation and is active in charity work around New York City. There really isn’t much to dislike about Kerry Rhodes.
A 26-year old washboard stomach, an NFL salary, a movie career and a charity to help young students…what more could you ask for?
2. Matt Leinart – Arizona Cardinals
Alright, my ex-boyfriend always said that Matt Leinart sucks. I don’t really care about that. Matt Leinart is cute, anyway.
Google Matt Leinart and you’ll see picture after picture of Matt with girls. (Yes, I googled Matt Leinart. Shoot me.) He’s always surrounded by beautiful women, or at least party women. The point being, this guy is a girl-magnet. Let’s break this down.
Matt Leinart has a winning smile, dimples, a devil-may-care attitude. Matt dresses stylishly. He has that Southern California nonchalance. Matt Leinart is dreamy, even if he can’t throw a football.
1. Tom Brady – New England Patriots
Tom Brady is just head-and-shoulders above everyone else on this list. Tom Brady is a superstar of football hotness. No other player even gets close.
Just look at him. You put Tom Brady in a nice, tailored suit and he looks like James Bond. I really believe Tom Brady is 007. Consider the facts.
Tom Brady dates only the most beautiful women in the world. (Bridget Moynahan, Giselle Bundchen, lord knows who else) He has a fear of commitment. Tom performs under pressure. He’s always in control of the situation.
Tom Brady is rich. He’s deadly handsome. The whole world knows who Tom Brady is, but they don’t really know him. There’s no other way to put it; Tom Brady is a super-hottie.
Final Note To The Girls
Sorry to my friends who preferred the TO’s of the world. This is MY list, with a few helpful hints from “The pack”. If you want a Top 10 list with Terrell Owens on it, write one of your own. That goes for you especially, Candace. :-)