Online dating offers up a whole world of opportunity for a single person. Where your local bar, workplace or church introduces you to a handful of eligible singles, online dating sites offer a huge number of possible dates. Even if you don’t want a long distance relationship, you can find an date near you on the internet simply by limiting the parameters of your search to your local area. Once you’ve met the perfect person online, though, you’ll be in the same kind of dating relationship you’ve had before with offline dates. So here’s a guide for online dating once you’ve begun the actual dating part.
Online Dating Guide
You’ve sifted through online dating profiles. You’ve written and answered emails. You’ve found someone that might just be the next chapter in your life. All of that’s behind you. So now it’s time to get to the hard part: establishing a relationship with your online dating partner.
Keep An Open Mind – Online Dating Tips
First of all, keep an open mind. It’s natural that you get preconceived ideas about this new dating partner you have. You have interacted with this person through the filter of the internet. Emails and chat rooms allow for a certain amount of editing. A person can do a lot of polishing up of their normal day-to-day act when they can edit their thoughts before sending them to you. All the things better left unsaid are probably left unsaid. Certain negative traits can be hidden or limited in electronic communications (though not everyone chooses to do that, of course). So you’re likely to have an idealized image of this person in your head: your new dating partner with few or any flaws.
So keep an open mind and know that this person is unlikely to measure up to the image you have of them in your head. That’s only natural.
Don’t Compare – Online Dating Tips
The comparison shopping portion of your online dating experience is over with. You’ve chosen the person you want to date, so accept him or her for who they are. Stop comparing them to every person that you have dated, will date, or are also currently dating. Now, that’s only natural to do, even when dating someone you met outside an online dating site. Whether you meet your new boyfriend/girlfriend on the internet or in person, they are going to treat you differently in many ways than everyone ever has. Different is not always either better or worse; sometimes, it’s just different. Don’t create unrealistic expectations by hoping this person is the perfect replacement for your last flame. They won’t be.
That’s doesn’t mean your new dating partner won’t be good for you. The person you’ve just met might treat you better or they might treat you worse than those in your past. It all just depends on the type of person you are dating. The best thing to do is to forget those old relationships. When you go out on a date, leave your baggage at the door.
Change Is Certain In Online Dating
You need to remember that there will be some changes and adjustments to that will need to occur as you and your new online dating buddy acclimate yourselves to each other. These changes are usually not very big changes. Every relationship has the give and take we all call compromise. It’s common in all relationships. Your new date might like different activities than you do, or you might have different friends. That can be a good thing. Change lets you grow by broadening your horizons. The more new friends and activities you experience, the better perspective on life you’ll have.
Trying something new lets you see your online date in a new light, and lets you show your date something they didn’t know about you. You will learn about the things that each of you like, experiencing things during your dates that you might not have been exposed to before. You’ll gradually grow into a new life with one another. The new will become the old soon enough, so enjoy the newness of your online relationship.
Sex Is Not the Goal in Online Dating
All this talk of new experiences and being open-minded might create the wrong impression. Don’t look at sex as the goal of the relationship at first. I know that’s tough advice for the guys out there, but sexual relations sometimes gets in the way of getting to know one another in other ways. While you are in the beginning stages of your brand new relationship, it might be a good idea to stay away from sex for at least a few weeks.
This advice is, of course, assuming that you’re focused on the long term. “No Strings Attached” relationships and “Just for Fun” dating has its place in this world. I’m assuming that, if you’re reading this article, you’re looking for something besides a purely physical relationship. If you are looking for a serious relationship or a long term dating partner, lay off the sex for the first few dates while you get to know each other. There are online dating websites out there (such as LavaLife) that people sign up for looking specifically for the spicier side of online dating.
However, for those of us looking for something longer lasting than your average casual encounter, sex to early on in a relationship can severely complicate things, or make things weird.
New Relationship Tips – Online Dating
New relationships should be fun and exciting. Getting to know one another might go slow or fast, but the two of you will get closer and closer as time goes by. Take it slow and have fun at first. Do not take things too seriously too fast. Generally, it’s not healthy to rush into a serious relationship that’s hot-and-heavy from the start. It can lead to codependent relationships that are based more on mutual neediness than a healthy, giving relationship. If you’ve never been in a codependent relationship, you’ve probably seen one of your friends in one. That just sucks the fun out of a new relationship altogether.
Have Fun – The Zen of Online Dating
Let a tree be a tree and a rock be a rock. That is, keep things simple. The idea of dating is to enrich your life. The best way to enrich your life through dating is to have a great time on your date. So whether you are completely comfortable in your new dating relationship or not, and even if your date doesn’t exactly match up to expectations, try to have fun with the date. Make a point to have a good attitude and enjoy yourself. Whether you end up in a life-changing relationship or not, it will be worth the time spent.
Try something you wouldn’t normally have done (like sky-diving) and if you haven’t found your soul mate in your new partner, perhaps you’ve found a great new friend.