There are 4 things married couples can do to bring the excitement back into their bedroom. Before I let you in on this handful of bedroom advice for married couplesdesigned to save you and your spouse’s sex life, I want to briefly cover what causes bedroom boredom in married couples.
Sometimes familiarity ruins an otherwise spicy sex life. For men especially, the idea of being with the same lover for the rest of their lives can snuff the candle right out. Perhaps there are physical differences in the two of you now – you’ve gotten older and busier at work, and thus don’t have time to take care of your bodies the way you used to, and your partner doesn’t feel as physically attracted to you anymore. Still other couples have a serious fighting problem – its strange that many of our fights occur in the bedroom, if they occur at home. This is the one room that should be sacred to your marriage, and yet you choose to duke it out with your spouse there.
Four Married Sex Tips
In other words, a loss of sexual interest in a relationship is all about change – either the lack or presence of it. The four married sex tips below will help you change your marriage into one that includes the amount and kind of sex that you want, the kind of physical intimacy that will keep your marriage together.
1. Work Out (Together)
You and your spouse are most likely not in the physical shape you once were. While no loving couple would outright criticize each other for changes in their body, we are all human and can’t help it if we aren’t attracted to someone anymore. There could be the opposite problem – maybe you don’t FEEL as attractive anymore, and this is hampering you bedroom activity. A lack of confidence will kill anyone’s sex drive – but there is a solution. When you work out, your body will look and feel better, but there are benefits to your brain chemistry as well. Not only will you be more physically able to express your love for your spouse, you will want one another more. The confident glow a person emits when they’re confident in their body is just as sexy as a well toned physique. Besides that, exercising (especially doing it together) whether it means yoga, long walks, or hard weight training – it all gets your blood moving. When your body is active, your mind will be active, and having an active physical and mental life with your spouse will always lead to the lights being turned down low.
2. Experiment (Not just in the bedroom)
Working with your spouse to discover new things you’re interested in will spark your old romance quicker than you might think. When I suggest you experiment, I am of course talking about sex. No one wants to get into the same old sexual routine – and reading a sexy book together or watching a risqué movie can certainly push you into better sexual habits. There’s an entire market in “renewing romance”, and you can find that sort of advice by visiting an “adult toy store” – there’s bound to be one in your area, or you can try an online version, such as Toys in Babeland (my personal favorite).
But experimenting doesn’t stop at the border of the comforter. Why not try an exotic cuisine with your spouse, something neither of you have ever had? Indian or Thai foods are new to many people, and are available in most areas as they grow increasingly more popular in Western culture. If you’re in a larger metropolitan area, you have a huge selection – from Ethiopian food (eaten with your hands, very romantic) to vegan cafes, there’s likely to be something new to the both of you that you’ll probably learn to love.
There’s more to experimenting than just food, of course. Take up golf or tennis – these activities have the added bonus of helping keep you fit. Maybe you’re already an athletic couple – go to art museums or small gallery openings. Events like this are cheap or even free and get your mind working in all new ways. Try making a commitment to your partner – one new food and activity every week. Without saying a word, your love life will improve, as experimenting in your daily life leads to playful times in bed.
3. Renew (Your vows)
You’ve already started to renew your bodies – it may be time to renew your weddings vows. This doesn’t mean launching off on an expensive trip back to the site of your honeymoon, or having some ceremony your friends will be too embarrassed to come to. Don’t get me wrong, taking a second honeymoon or renewing your wedding vows in a ceremony can be beautiful, but you don’t HAVE to do it this way. You can simply sit down together and take a kind of “State of the Union” inventory. What about your wedding vows have changed? Are there any big problems that need attention? Is it necessary to rewrite your vows, adding new facets to your partnership, or clearing up confusions between the two of you? Simply talking to your partner about the changes in your marriage can reignite the passion that existed at the beginning of your lives together.
4. Take a Trip (Together)
There are plenty of marriage-saving events you can attend with you spouse – some are relatively luxurious, involving spa treatments in exotic vacation destinations. Want to save your sex life in the Caribbean – there’s a retreat for that. But the pressure and anticipation of “marriage counseling” means that no one will be truly comfortable. It may be a better idea to take a trip just for the two of you.
This can be as romantic an encounter as you make it. Perhaps you can go back to the city where the two of you met – an old college town or the hometown you grew up in. Being in a familiar place, the place you first fell in love, is likely to bring back all sorts of helpful memories. Remember that the point of these tips is to “reignite your old passions, the way you would touch one another when you were first in love, the way you looked at one another. Taking a trip together to a romantic location will give you time to bring up any issues you may have with your marriage in a neutral setting, and surrounded by comfort and a beautiful or at least familiar landscape. Sometimes just getting out of your home or your daily routine can give that much needed boost to your physical intimacy.
There are many reasons why a married couple may find their sex life falling off. Almost all of these excuses can be countered with a few simple changes in your life. Be adventurous, experiment, and try to remember the excitement that brought the two of you together in the first place. Stick to these tips, and your bedroom will be back on fire before you know it.