Most people when they think of dating think about nightclubs and hooking up. But for the serious Christian, dating can be somewhat different. You want to find that special someone who is right for you but you want to do it with God’s guidance and you want to keep your Christian values intact. It’s not so easy these days because not everyone you meet share the same values as you. So how do you pursue a relationship while still keeping true to your faith? What are some dating tips and advice for Christian women? Here are some suggestions to help you navigate the murky waters of dating.
Pick The Right Guy
If only it were that easy. Despite one’s faith in the Almighty, he is not going to point out the right guy for you with a ray of golden sunlight and a chorus of angles singing. No, it is up to you to use your better judgment to find a guy who is a good match. This can be especially difficult because, as everyone in the Christian community knows, there are Christians and then there are people claiming to be Christians. Sadly, the second group tends to be more common than the first. You know the guys. They claim to have faith and follow God’s word but as soon as you are alone with them, they turn into every other wrong guy you have ever met. They may display immoral behavior, curse a lot, talk about themselves in a vain and shallow way, or only be interested in ‘that one thing’ from a woman.
When choosing the right guy for you, you want a man who is compassionate, kind, and honest. He may not necessarily be an avid churchgoer as long as he respects your faith and exhibits many Christian-like qualities that you adhere to. He also needs to respect you. I know this sounds like the perfect guy and there is no harm in having initial high standards. You can always adjust your sights accordingly if you find someone that you are attracted to.
Unfortunately, you are only going to find that right guy through trial and error. But a good place to start is, of course, your church. This is a good place to look for a guy that shares your same values. Even if there isn’t a guy there that is right for you, churches tend to be very social. You can always network through your church members that you are close to. Sometimes matches come about from other people hooking you up with someone they know. Other places you can try are church social events, networking through your friends, and even through online Christian dating sites.
Don’t Try To Convert Him
Once you find a guy, he may share the exact same values as you or he may not even belong to the same denomination (or even religion). The mistake that many Christian women make is to try to convert their man. Don’t try to do this. Many people in a relationship do not do well if pressured by their partner or spouse to adapt new religious beliefs. He may not go to the same church as you. He may not go to church at all. But if he respects you and your faith, then you should respect his. You should not criticize his beliefs nor should you mistake his difference of faith as rejection of you as a person.
Tolerate His Differences
Chances are very slim that you are going to find someone that shares the exact same values as you. If you can, then more power to you. You go. But most partners are more likely to share just a few of the same values. Don’t fret and freak out, though. It is very rare to find a relationship where any two people are exactly the same. In fact, many experts agree that it is the differences in a relationship that gives it a spark. Too many shared traits can lead to a boring relationship. So for a healthy relationship, try to tolerate a guy’s differences and accept them (as long as they do not upset your own beliefs or faith).
What Is Appropriate
This is a big one for Christian women. Other people who do not follow Christian ways tend to jump from one relationship to the next. They are liable to engage in all sorts of activities with each person. Christians should try to hold themselves to God’s standards. This means that you shouldn’t hop from one bed to another. No, you cannot be expected to be a saint. Passion is a strong emotion. But if you don’t want to lead a hypocritical life, you should try your best to follow healthy Christian values. Of course, a little hand holding a kiss goodnight never hurt anyone.
Don’t Rush Things
Let’s say that you find a guy that you really like and he seems to be everything that you are looking for in a mate. This doesn’t mean that you should rush out and set a date wedding date. You need to take the time to really get to know him. There may be some traits of his that he keeps hidden or only become apparent after you know him better. Maybe he turns into a typical Neanderthal when he gets around his guy friends. Maybe he curses at his work when he gets home at the end of the day. Or maybe he is not as spiritual as he led you to believe. In any budding relationship, you always want to take thing s slow and easy to make sure that he is the right guy for you.
Always Keep Your Faith
This is the bottom line in any relationship that you pursue. You always want to stay true to yourself and your faith in God. Even if your new guy does not share your values, you should not compromise your own beliefs for the sake of someone else. Never put anyone before God. If you date someone who has different beliefs, just as you respect their choices, so should they respect yours.