It is hard for men to approach women and start up a conversation. You don’t always know what to say and the pressure of finding an appropriately interesting topic can leave you nervous and lacking in confidence. Women are much more socially adept than most men. Men just don’t have enough experience sometimes in dealing with women in a social setting. So how can a man start up a conversation with a woman? What are some good conversation skills single men can learn? To be able to get a conversation started with a woman that you might normally feel nervous around, here are a few tips for you.
Basic Social Skills
The key to having good conversation skills with women is to develop good overall social skills. This means that you need to be aware of how to act appropriately around anyone, not just women. If you feel that you do not have good social skills, a way to develop this is to start up conversations with anyone. Try it out at work or places where you might not regularly hang out. Put yourself in a position that is outside of your ‘comfort zone’ and learn to adapt. If you are not sure about what to talk about with others, listen to what they are saying. When at work, listen to your co-workers and find out what interests them. Then join in the conversation. Once you learn basic social skills, you will be ready to socialize with women.
Don’t Freeze Up
All too often men tend to freeze up when they meet a woman. Maybe she walks up to you to start a conversation. You find yourself unable to respond or to keep the conversation going. Or maybe she smiles at you from across the room, giving you the ‘all clear’ signal to approach. But you fail to do so because you are frozen to the spot, unable to come up with something original to say to impress her. Well, do whatever you can to keep from freezing up. Try not to over-think a situation. Struggling to come up with something to say leads to frustration and, thus, leaves you frozen in place. Just stay loose and relaxed and go with the flow. To keep from freezing up, you may have to force yourself to walk up to a woman and introduce yourself.
Just Treat Them Like A Guy
Talking to guys is easy. You don’t have to worry about impressing your buddies so you get to just be yourself. Its when you start worrying about impressing a woman that you end up in trouble. Here is something you can try. Treat a woman like she was one of your guy friends. This doesn’t mean you belch at her or put her in a headlock. To keep a conversation going with a woman, pretend that she is just one of the guys. You are not trying to impress her. You are just having an interesting conversation with her. And it is almost guaranteed that as long as you stay relaxed and don’t act like you are trying to pick her up, you are going to appear more confident and more attractive.
Start A Conversation About A Shared Situation
An easy way to start up a conversation with a woman is to talk about a shared experience. Maybe something is going on around you. This provides an immediate topic that you can both relate to. Start out by discussing the shared event. Get her opinion on it, what she thinks of it, and so on. The best thing about a shared experience is that it opens up the conversation and makes it easy for introductions and to discuss other topics.
Jump Into A Conversation
Another great conversation skill for single men is to learn to listen to what others are talking about around you. If you are at a party or social gathering, try to put yourself in a position to listen in on what others are saying. This is not for the purpose of eavesdropping and gossip. It is to give you an opportunity to get in on a conversation. If a woman and her friends are discussing something, listen for a few minutes and then, when an opening comes, jump in with your opinion on the subject. If you need to, apologize for overhearing them (as if it were by accident) and then give your opinion. Once you are in on the conversation, it is easy enough to stay involved. However, know the risk. Not everyone is going to appreciate someone else butting in on what they are talking about. Pay attention and if you are given the cold shoulder, apologize for interrupting and leave.
Make A Comment About Her
This is another conversation skill that could be risky. The idea is to walk up to a woman and give her a compliment or to comment on some feature of hers. Now, most guys will say something like “You are so beautiful”. While nice, it has two flaws. One is that it isn’t very original. It isn’t going to make you stand out in her mind which is what you want. And two, if she is beautiful, she has likely heard that compliment many times and may be tired of hearing it from guys. Try to say something different about her. Compliment her hair style, her outfit, or earrings. If a woman is wearing something really different, it is for a reason. She wants to be noticed and by commenting on it, you are giving her an opportunity to talk about her favorite subject which is herself.
If Nothing Else, Just Say ‘Hi”
Many times a man just doesn’t have anything to work with. The woman that you are interested in may be a complete stranger standing by herself at a party and you know nothing about her. The only thing you can do is to walk up to her, say hello, and introduce yourself. Ask her name, what she is doing at the event, if she likes it, and find out more about her. This can be hit-and-miss so you need to act interested in what she is saying. Ask her questions when you can and get her talking. If you have good social skills you can accomplish this and possibly end up talking to an interesting woman.