Dating Techniques for Men – Dating Techniques for Women

It should be obvious that most dating techniques for men will work just as well for women. And it should also be obvious that most dating techniques for women will work just as well for men. For example, all of the following dating techniques apply to both genders:

  • Taking things slow.
  • Staying out of the “friends” category.
  • Paying attention.
  • Avoid married people.
  • Flirting.
  • Don’t cheat or put up with cheating.

Dating Technique for Men and Women #1 – Taking Things Slow

The biggest mistake many men and women make (when they’re inexperienced daters) is to take things too fast. Just because a woman jumps into bed with you on the first date doesn’t mean you should fall in love with her. And just because a man SEEMS really nice on the first date doesn’t mean you should fall in love with him. Take things slow.

Stories abound about people who have been married to spouses who had other wives. Imagine being married to a man for ten years and the finding out he has another wife and kids in another house on the other side of town! If a woman can be fooled for that long by a man she’s married to, imagine how fooled you can be by a man on a first date. I’m not saying that you can never really know another person, but people are easily and often fooled. Taking things slow lessens your chances of being fooled and getting into a really bad situation you’ll regret.

Dating Technique for Women and Men #2 – Staying Out of the Friends Category

It’s common for a man to fall for a woman who’s not interested in him. But she’s got nothing else to do on Saturday night, so she spends it having dinner and drinks with a man as “just friends”. This is a situation a man should avoid for several reasons. The main reason is because spending time with a woman who just wants to be friend means you’ll be spending less time with women who might want to pursue an actual romance.

This happens sometimes with women who are interested in men too, but it’s less common.

One way to avoid the “friends” category is to go for the kiss at the end of the date. If he or she doesn’t want to kiss you after the first date or two, then guess what? He or she isn’t interested in you romantically.

So move on already.

(It’s okay to have friends of the opposite sex. Just make sure they’re not people you want to date, because if they are, you could wind up disappointed and lonely for a long time.)

Dating Technique for Men and Women #3 – Paying attention.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a man or a woman, you should pay attention to a person you’re dating. For one thing, if it’s early in your relationship, you need to be looking for warning signs that this is or isn’t a person you want to even use your “dating techniques” on. And if your relationship has been going on for a while, you need to pay attention to make sure that things are going as well as they ought to be.

Taking things for granted is a dating technique that never works.

Dating Technique for Women and Men #4 – Avoid married people.

Oh, you can hang out with married people, especially when they’re together. But DATING married people is a mistake, even if you don’t have a moral or religious objection to it and neither does your date. Here’s why:

Dating someone else’s husband or wife can be dangerous.

Suppose you’re very mature, and you’ve met a married woman, and she’s very mature too. And you’ve been straightforward and honest with each other about your marital situations, and you’re both okay with just dating and having sex behind her husband’s back. And everything’s cool, right?

Until he finds out and buys a gun.

Sounds silly, but it’s not. If they’re married, don’t date ’em.

Dating Technique for Women and Men #5 – Flirting

Flirting is one of those dating meta-skills that everyone should have. Here are a few resources about flirting that might help you improve your flirting techniques:

Dating Technique for Men and Women #6 – Don’t cheat. Don’t put up with cheating.

Define cheating any way you like, but once you’ve defined it for yourself, don’t do it. Cheating is always a matter of not keeping a commitment, and when you do that, you destroy your own self-esteem. (You build self-esteem by keeping your commitments to yourself and to others.)

If you put up with cheating from the person you’re in a relationship with, then you can expect it to happen over and over again. It’s a subtle form of abuse, and it’s not good for you in any way to be abused.

How you define cheating in your relationship is up to you and your partner.


  1. Great tips here! I like your #4 tip which should really be payed closer attention to by most women. You see, when a woman falls in love, she wouldn’t care at all even if the guy is already married. She’ll do everything to keep the man even if she knows she’ll still lose in the end. Thanks for pointing that out! Very good analysis. :-)

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