Dating Younger Men

There has always been the social dating arrangement of an older man dating a younger woman. But in the recent years, the opposite has become more popular (probably thanks in large to the internet). We are seeing more and more of an older woman dating a younger man. This dating style has even coined the term ‘cougar’ which refers to an attractive older woman seeking younger men. There are a lot of reasons why older woman seek the company of someone younger and it is not always physical. Not everyone is a Mrs. Robinson. Many times the woman just wants to feel younger and enjoys the energy and spontaneity of a younger man. It can be more adventuresome than dating someone their own age or even older. If you are an older woman interesting in dating younger men, then here is some advice for you.

Is It Casual or Serious

Before you go out and start dating younger men, decide what you are looking for in a relationship. Are you looking for something casual and fun or something deeper with commitment. Many older women that date younger men do so to have fun. They are not looking for anything serious. Usually this arrangement works fine for the guy who is often just looking to try out an experienced woman.

However, all too often you can end up falling for the guy that you are seeing, especially if he has everything that you are looking for in a man. And as long as he is okay with getting serious, then great for both of you. If you meet someone that you like to be with, the two of you might want to discuss what you want out of the relationship. This will help to establish some boundaries.

Be Open and Confident About Your Sexuality

Advice for Women Dating Younger MenYoung women can be flighty and flakey about what type of woman they are. They don’t have enough experience to be confident about themselves and don’t know what they want or how they should act sexually. They can flip-flop between being too aggressive to being too passive. Older women should not make that mistake. You should have enough experience to be confident about yourself. Don’t be afraid to come out and say what you want. Don’t be hesitant about being in charge and making the first move. Young men are used to women their own age being indecisive and sitting back waiting on the guy. A lot of young guys would appreciate a change. Make the first move and don’t be afraid to flaunt your sexuality.

Look Your Best

The truth is that it is hard for an older woman to compete against a younger woman in the health and beauty department. It is just part of nature. But if you want to compete and try to date younger men, then you should take some measures to make sure that you look your best. This doesn’t mean that you go out and spend a couple of thousand dollars on plastic surgery to look younger. Only do what you are comfortable with, both personally and financially. Fix your hair or wear a little makeup. You should pay particular attention to your wardrobe. Only wear what is flattering to your figure. Don’t wear clothes that are too tight or too revealing if you don’t have the figure for it. You want to display yourself in the best possible way and you don’t have to look like a cover model in order to do that.

Go With the Flow

Young men tend to be more energetic, more spontaneous than older men. They are liable to change their mind from one day to the next as they deal with discovering who they are as a person. Don’t get stressed out by this. You can’t fix them to a schedule. They are quite capable of waking up one morning and deciding to drive down to the coast and still be back to hit the clubs that same night. The best way to deal with this spontaneity is to go with the flow. Being young is all about going out and taking road trips or catching a last minute concert. We were like that when we were at that age. You can’t expect them to be any different.

Don’t Expect Too Much Maturity

Maturity comes with age and life experiences. Some people tend to be more mature than others of their age but usually, young people just haven’t lived long enough to develop that level. Plus, young men tend to develop slower than women their age. Think of all of those macho but silly young guys you use to know. You know, the ones that were always pulling some stunt, no matter how dumb it might have been. That is how most young guys are. The good news is that they tend to act more mature when trying to impress an older woman. They want you to think of them as being sensible and refined. And as long as they are in a relationship with you, they will probably develop and grow at a faster rate to catch up. But if you want real maturity and stability, you might want to find someone closer to your own age.

Don’t Be Their Mother

He may have trouble sticking with a career. He may live in a messy apartment. He may drive too fast. Don’t try to mother him. He may be younger than you but you have to treat him as any other adult that you are in a relationship with. One of the biggest mistakes an older woman can do is to treat their man like they are a child who needs a firm hand. You have to respect their decisions and choices, even if they are wrong or irresponsible.

Enjoy Your Time Together

The constant risk, and it is very much a reality, is that your younger man may one day leave you for someone younger. You could be setting yourself up for heartache by dating younger men so you shouldn’t make any assumptions about starting a future with them. This is the big question. Do you put yourself at risk just to go out with them and feel young and alive? Or do you avoid younger men just in the off chance that you eventually get left? This is a question that each older woman must answer for herself. Some might argue that it is not worth getting hurt over. Others argue that you should enjoy your time together as long as it lasts. But don’t lose hope. There is always the chance that your casual relationship can grow deeper and turn into a long-term and satisfying relationship.


  1. I’m a 46 yo woman who had an intimate relationship with a 26 yo man. The next day he wanted to know if I had any hot, older friends who he’s like to meet and sleep with. I was completely humiliated by this question. I thought it was very rude and disrespectful not to mention inmature.
    I’m curious if any older women have been asked this question by younger men.

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