Do Nice Guys Fail More Often With Women?

That depends on your definition of nice. Women are attracted to men with confidence and men that present a mystery. You don’t necessarily have to be a jerk to women to attract them, but you can expect to attract women simply by being nice to them. Women prefer a challenge, and if you make them earn your attention, they are going to appreciate you more.

Below are a few reasons why “nice guys fail more” with woman. You don’t have to have model good looks to attract women. Keep in mind the few points below and you can make yourself more attractive to women. Remember that I’m not coaching you to be a jerk to the women you meet. When you read these attraction tips, keep in mind that these are about being more attractive to women. You are giving them reasons to want you around and seek you out when you aren’t there. That’s the secret of attraction.

Do Nice Guys Fail More Often With Women – 3 Tips to Attracting Women

1. Women Can’t Figure You Out – Women are attracted to mysterious men. Women are attracted to men who don’t treat them well, because they are attracted to men who present a challenge. Women like complicated men – not men they can figure out in two minutes.

Let’s analyze this for a minute. If you meet a women and she knows within two minutes that you are attracted to her, that you’re not entirely confident approaching her and you’re going to be real nice to make her like you, she’s got you figured out already. But if you’re a guy who seems totally confident, but you aren’t giving her your undivided and unconditional attention, then she probably wants to know what kind of guy you are.

You’re a mystery to her. She wants to figure out that mystery. In other words, you are attracting her to get to know her. You’re alluring to her and she’s being lured into your world. Using the word “lure” sounds dangerous, but if you seem like a complicated man with the confidence, it’s not such a bad thing for her to think you’re a little bit dangerous.

Do Nice Guys Fail With Women?2. You Are a Man With Confidence – People have all kinds of insecurities, and women are no different. Guy are a pretty simple lot: their insecurity needs are generally met if they have an attractive woman on their arms. In a lot of ways, women are more complicated. Often, women’s insecurities run into the more primal emotions. That is, it’s a dangerous world for a young woman and women are likely to feel more secure with a strong man around. And one of the characteristics of a strong man is he is confident.

Confidence is huge when approaching women. When you introduce yourself to a woman, never show hesitation and never show fear. Many “nice guys” tend to hesitate. What you consider a “jerk” might just be a guy arrogant enough to have unfailing confidence approaching women. You might think he’s doesn’t have much to justify his swagger. But one thing he does have going for him is the knowledge of how to approach women. The fact of the matter is, no matter how gorgeous a woman is, she is likely to have her own insecurities. Being around confident people – especially confident men – is likely to help her with whatever insecurity issues she has.

A woman is likely to want to know why a man has such confidence. She wants to learn more about you. That curiosity is a form of attraction. You “intrigue” her. While she’s figuring out what makes you tick, she’ll get to know the “real you”. Just make sure the real you keeps his confidence and continues to present his woman with a challenge. Once a woman knows she has you on a string, she is more likely to lose her infatuation for you.

3. You Keep Her Entertained – Finally, I’m not suggesting you treat the women you meet badly. I’m suggesting you keep women guessing. Keep her laughing and keep her guessing and she’s going to want to stay around for a while. And when she thinks you have you figured out, throw her another curve ball.

When I saw “keep her entertained”, I’m suggesting that you take her on dates that she’s never been on before. Be romantic when she least expects it, but don’t be lavish in your romance. Keep her guessing about what’s coming next and she’ll be entertained. Good humor is your best friend. An entertaining man is an attractive man.

Do Nice Guys Fail More Often With Women – Final Thoughts

So there you have it. Nice guys don’t necessarily fail more often with women, but nice guys tend to be too straightforward and earnest for their own good. Women want a little excitement in their lives, so keep them guessing. Women want to be around strong and reassuring men, so project strength and confidence. And women want to laugh, have a good time and feel good about themselves, so keep them entertained. You remember these three romance tips and you’ll succeed with women, whether you’re a jerk, a nice guy or somewhere in between.


  1. Veronica says:

    I enjoyed reading this! Sometimes we women can be complicated, and my heart goes out to all the men out there. Speaking of which, I’m a bit embarrassed about this, but cut me a little slack, this happened 20+ years ago, and I was an emotional, young college girl at the time (an English Lit/Drama major no less). I had been romantically involved with this guy for about six months and it seemed to me that we just couldn’t take things to the next level and it would be in both of our interests to move on. So one day, I decided to have a heart to heart chat with him, going to great lengths to be sensitive to his feelings, and getting a little emotional in the process of saying it was time to end things. His response? Well, very casual, dry (he was an engineering major, go figure and hmmm, maybe even a little cheerful. He said with a smile, “yeah, you’re right, it’s probably the best thing.” Well, I was stunned by his lack of disappointment and asked if that was all he had to say. He again replied casually, “yeah, I think that’s about it.” I had invested the past six months of my life with this guy and he didnt seem to be the least bit upset that I was breaking up with him?! That was more than I could take. I stood up from the bench we were sitting on in the heart of the campus quad (imagine a diminutive Asian gal hovering over a large, strapping male), gently lifted his chin (by the look on his face, he may have been expecting a good bye kiss) and then SMACK — he got a hearty slap, right across the face. Of course I walked away in a huff, a complete, emotional wreck. Later on, I talked about it with a few of my sorority sisters and of course got hugged, consoled, etc. Then one of my sisters said something like “so wait a minute….you broke up with him and then slapped him?”. It then occurred to me how ridiculous the scenario was! Laughter ensued along with lots of good-natured teasing from my friends. The story doesn’t end there. A few days later, he sent me flowers and an apology card. I’m not sure if the poor guy even knew what he was apologizing for! ;-)

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