First date conversations are as important to a relationship as a job interview is to a career. If you botch the question and answer part of your first date, you better hope you have a really good resume: good looks, a better job and a great setting for the first date. A good conversation, on the other hand, can overcome certain shortcomings on your dating resume, because people like being set at ease and having a good, pleasant conversation.
But how do you have great date conversations?
If you aren’t naturally very good with your conversational skills, this can be a major impediment to finding romance. So I’ve prepared a set of tips when you’re about to have a first dating conversation.
1. Talk About Your Date…A Lot – Don’t drone on about you and your life and where you’re going in life. Get your date partner to talk about himself or herself. While they are interested in getting to know you, people are flattered by your curiosity and are more interested when they are talking about them.
2. Don’t Be an Inquisitor – The point isn’t to get a cache of information about your date. The point is to make a connection between the two of you. So don’t ask a whole lot of probing questions and follow-up questions. Ask your date questions that are likely to establish a certain amount of intimacy and affinity for one another, but keep it light.
3. Discuss What They Find Fun and Exciting – Discuss what your date finds fun in life and what excites him or her about life. When you find something they really enjoy, keep the conversation on this subject for a little while. If you see your dating partner get animated, let them have the floor and talk about whatever it is they find so interesting. When you encourage your date to talk about something so enthusiastically, that person is naturally going to associate you with that subject, and therefore associate you with fun and excitement.
4. Laugh a Little – As I mentioned earlier, keep the conversation light and laugh a little with one another. Make sure you the two of you are laughing together, though. Don’t laugh at your date, but with your date. It’s alright for guys to be a little cocky in the way they present themselves, but always be cocky with humor mixed in, and never use sarcasm to attack your date or your date’s choices in life. Have confidence. Have swagger. But stay positive.
5. Make Your Date Feel Better About Life – This is the secret to good conversation skills and good dating. If when you part at the end of the night, your date feels better about himself or herself or feels better about life, that person is going to want to keep you around. So don’t be afraid to compliment your date and flirt while you’re doing it. Just don’t come across as a creep, because creepy is worse than dull.
Practicing Your Date Conversation
Don’t be afraid to practicing your conversational skills when preparing for a date. Find a friend (preferably of the opposite sex) and work on your conversation skills. Like anything else in the world, the more you practice, the better you’ll get at the skill. That’s why dating often isn’t such a bad thing, because you’ll be working on your dating skills, even if the dates don’t work out.
Just remember, have fun and everything else will take care of itself, because we’re all dating because we are hoping to have fun and enjoy ourselves.