Humphrey Bogart knew how to approach a woman. So did Clark Gable and Cary Grant. The fictional British spy James Bond always knew just what to say to the ladies to get them weak in the knees. But the reality is that for us ordinary guys, it isn’t as easy. Not taking into account being nervous, sweaty, and unsure of ourselves, we also don’t always know the right things to say. We want to appear to be confident, cool, and unresistingly charming. But how do you do this? Some guys are lucky enough that they have natural skills when it comes to the ladies. For the rest of us, it takes a little more work. So how do you approach a woman? What do you say that doesn’t make you seem like you are just some desperate guy hoping someone, anyone, will say yes to you? If you are looking for pick-up lines, this is not the right article for you. This article is about some pointers on how to approach a woman and be taken seriously.
Be Easy And Relaxed
Too many guys approach women looking nervous and desperate. They may be sweating or stutter their lines. It may also show in their body language if they fidget or look tense. The first thing you need to master to approach when is to learn to be relaxed and act in an easy manner. Sure, you may be nervous inside. Who can blame you? No one wants to get shot down, especially in public. But by approaching a woman with an easy smile and a relaxed posture, it will immediately help to put the woman at ease, too.
Realize They Get Hit On A Lot
Not all women are approachable. You need to realize that at highly social places such as clubs, parties, and social events, there are some women that get hit on all the time. Chances are they may get tired of it. Perhaps they just want an evening with the girls and they don’t want to bother with male socializing. Maybe they are busy shopping and in a hurry to be somewhere. If this happens, they will be difficult to impossible to approach. Even if you have a smooth line and a good approach, you’re probably facing rejection. Keep this in mind when you are trying to make your approach.
Seek Safety In A Group
Some men are nervous about going out there alone. The dating scene is a dangerous world and more than one good man has been crushed by it. If you are nervous about approaching a woman by yourself, then get a friend to accompany you. This really works best if the woman is with a friend or two of her own. Otherwise, you run the risk of the single gal that you have been eyeing falling for the buddy you asked to accompany you as backup. Being in a group is a safety net and can make everyone feel more relaxed because they are in a familiar setting. Women are less likely to think that you are a single perv if you are with a group.
Humor Trumps Looks
Even if you have the looks of Adonis, you can’t expect that to carry you too far. You need substance. Yeah, good looks make it easier to approach women but if you want to hang out for more than five minutes, you need to be able to hold their attention. A good way to do this is with humor. Nine out of ten women say that they look for humor in their idea of the perfect guy. So if you have a natural tendency to be funny, this will give you an edge. Use your humor to keep their interest. But don’t overdo it. And don’t laugh at your own jokes (especially if no one else does).
Don’t Let Sex Be The Target
There are a lot of guys out there on the prowl that have one goal in mind: sex. They want to meet a girl and impress her enough to hook up with her that same night. This is a pattern that they follow night after night. And you know what? They fail more often than they score. Why? Because usually a woman can tell after a few minutes if a guy is after just one thing. You should never approach a woman with only the intent to get her in bed. When you approach a woman, you need to be interested in finding out more about her. She will pick up on this pretty quickly and will be more likely to talk to you and hang out.
Start A Conversation
Finding something to talk about can be one of the most difficult things about approaching a woman. If it were easy, there wouldn’t be much of a problem. But because you usually don’t know a woman (at least not well enough) you can really be stuck for a topic to talk about. The best method is to try to work something out ahead of time, some little conversation starter to get the ball rolling. Most women receive compliments all the time about their looks such as how beautiful or hot they are. After awhile, they may get a little numb to this and get tired of hearing it. A good conversation starter is to approach a woman and say something unexpected such as you really like her hair style or her smile. Maybe she has some really interesting earrings you can comment on. You can try cheesy pick-up lines if you want but after they have been delivered they leave back at square one with nothing to say. So just skip the cheesy one-liners and go for substance. Most women are good about talking about themselves so all you have to do is get them started and show interest in what they have to say. Look her in the eyes as she talks and listen and comment. If you show that you are interested in what she has to say, she will be that much more interested in you.
Attitude And Confidence
The whole key to approaching women is attitude and confidence. You need to have a good attitude that you mean business and that you are serious about getting to know her. You also need to be confident in yourself and your decisions. Don’t be hesitant or look to her to keep a conversation going. Take the lead, be confident in yourself and your self-esteem and any woman is going to find that more attractive.