Single men should learn certain skills when attracting women. The following ten secrets of a successful single man are a nice overview of how men present themselves correctly to women in the singles scene. Not every woman is attracted to every man, but if you follow these ten pick-up tips you’ll raise the number of women who are attracted to you. Some of these tips should be common sense, while others are attraction secrets that guys aren’t likely to think about very much. Put all these together and you’ll be a lot closer to attracting the kind of women you’re interested in attracting.
1. Know What You Want – Don’t put out the vibe that you’re willing to settle for what you can get. Let women know that you have certain traits you’re looking for in a woman and that you won’t settle for less. Women are used to being pursued, so they tend to be pickier than men. They can afford to be more choosy, while many men are willing to settle for whichever woman shows interest in them. But advertise what you like in women. When a woman attracts you, let her know what you find attractive. This advertises to the women around you what you’re looking for, so they know you have opinions and you aren’t willing to settle.
2. Show Off Your Sexuality – It’s natural for people, especially man, to equate sexuality with women. But both sexes can display sexuality. What probably throws off men is how to go about displaying male sexuality. But think about this for a moment. When I use the word “sexuality”, you probably equate it with sensuality. But it’s not, at least when applied to men’s sexuality.
“Sexuality” is about the classic traits of a gender. When you think of a woman’s sexuality, you think of beauty and sensuality. But when you think of the classic traits of a man, you think of someone who is strong and masculine, a man who knows what he wants and is aggressive and confident about getting it. We call it masculinity, but another term for it is “male sexuality”. When you display masculine traits to women, you are displaying your sexuality to them. So show strength, courage, confidence, a certain brashness, and women will respond to you.
3. Look Nice and Smell Nice – Guys often overlook what should be basic laws of attraction. Male attraction requires us to be men, but to be men in a presentable package. If you smell bad, less women will find you attractive. The ones who do might not be such big prizes, either.
Look at what women do to attract men. They spend long hours concerning themselves with their appearance (doing makeup, shopping for clothes, working on their hair). They buy perfumes to make themselves smell nice. That’s an indication that women find these things important, and not just that they think men are attracted to these things. If women find this important, you should go to the trouble of dressing nicely and wearing a cologne or body spray so you smell attractive.
4. Be a Challenge – Women aren’t attracted to jerks. They are attracted to men who present a challenge. Women are attracted to “bad boys” because bad-boys are unpredictable. That gives women a sense of adventure and a sense of the unexpected. You don’t have to be a jerk to women to make yourself an attractive male, but you do have to present them with a challenge.
That means you don’t agree with women just to be liked or to be considered nice. Guys who agree with every single thing out of a girl’s mouth is being friendly, and they’re likely to end up being “just friends”. Bending over backwards to please a woman is not a way to attract them.
Present a woman with a challenge. Challenge her thoughts and actions when they need to be. Be unpredictable.
5. Be Unpredictable – I’m not suggesting you simply disagree with everything she says or does. That just makes you disagreeable. I’m saying that you stay unpredictable, that you keep her guessing. Unpredictable males are more interesting to women.
Take her on an unorthodox date. Compliment her on things she isn’t likely to receive compliments on. That is, if she’s right, compliment her on her smarts, but don’t be afraid to challenge her when you think she’s wrong (challenge the thought, but don’t call her names).
6. Have Peaks and Valleys – Unpredictable means she doesn’t always know what to expect from you, and she can’t predict your reactions. If a guy is always cheery, that’s predictable. If a guy is always brooding and sullen, that’s predictable. “Complicated” males will sometimes have a sunny disposition and sometimes be quieter and more contemplative.
Women like a little drama in their life, and a bit of an emotional roller coaster is more interesting to them. Cycle through the normal cycle of emotions, is what I’m saying. Most people will have their good days and their bad days. Most men have their peaks and valleys. Don’t be sullen all the time, but don’t pretend to be cheery when you are having a bad day. Be genuine about your emotions and she’ll respond better.
7. Make Yourself a Commodity – Women are often sought-after and prized. Men expect they have to pursue women as if they are a commodity. But your job becomes a lot easier if you’re sought-after yourself, so make yourself a commodity. Obviously, this isn’t always easy.
It’s easy if you’re handsome, of course. But if you don’t have those model good looks, there are other ways to be an attractive male. You have to find something about you that attracts women. Other variations include the body builder with big muscles, the authority figure, the man of wealth and influence. There are all manner of variations on this theme, though. Maybe you are just the guy with a lot of friends – the guy people need to know.
Whatever the case, you need to have something about you that makes you prized by others, especially women. The first law of attraction is to be attractive. When you’re attractive, everything else comes easier.
8. Be Comfortable – Successful single males that attract women are comfortable in their own skin. Whatever your circumstances, be comfortable with who you are. Don’t be apologetic and don’t constantly fret about who you are or where you’re going. If women want that, they can talk to their friends.
Get comfortable with who you are. Just as important, get comfortable with the idea that you are attractive and that you are a sexual male with your own sexuality. If you can’t see yourself as an attractive male, it’s hard to sale that to the women you meet.
When you talk to women, be comfortable. Pause every once in a while when you speak for a split second and give her a chance to respond. Do this to emphasize points and draw her into your world, but also do it to give her time to talk, too. If she responds, shut up and let her respond. You don’t want your conversation to be you giving a speech.
Avoid long pauses, though. Give her a second to 1.5 seconds to respond during your pauses, but don’t allow long, uncomfortable pauses in your dialogue. If she doesn’t break in after a second, continue with your thought. If you decide she isn’t too interested in what you’re saying, then change the subject, but look comfortable doing it.
9. Have a Conversation – Listen to what she says, too. Listen to what she says and respond to what she is saying, but not always in the way she expects you to. Have what is called a “free association” conversation.
That means that you change the subject to something else, usually something related in some fashion, but you don’t stay on the same subject for long minutes of time. By free association, you show her you are following her conversation and are interested in it, but you aren’t predictable about your feedback. That is, if she talks about how awful class is, don’t tell her about how awful your class is. That sounds like you only want to talk about your self or your problems, instead.
The idea is to remain unpredictable. You don’t blow off what she’s saying, but you add something to the conversation and leave her guessing what’s on your mind.
10. Be Unfazed By Rejection – As the old commercial said, “Never let them see you sweat.” Don’t look at a rejection as the end of the game. In other words, don’t view a rejection as a rejection.
When you ask her out and she doesn’t agree to go, act like you’re unfased. Don’t act like this is the most important thing in the world. That only makes you look desperate and needy.
If she rejects you, make a joke about it, but not a joke at your own expense. Self-effacing humor is not what you want, at least not in large doses. Tell her the two of you can go out some other time. Mention that another woman you know wanted to go. Ask her if a particular friend of hers like to do what you were going to do on the date. Or just change the subject nonchalantly. The idea, though, is that you show that her rejection is no big thing to you. Take it like a man.
Heck, maybe she’s having a bad day. Maybe she has something to do that night. Maybe she’s seeing someone. Or maybe she just likes her men to have to work and she rejects everyone the first time. Whatever the case, she will not be impressed if you look downcast or dumbfounded, if you whine or if you plead and beg. If she’s going to be impressed, she’ll be impressed that you seem like you could care less either way.
And if she just isn’t attracted to you, then move on. There are plenty of women in this world who will be. That’s the important thing to learn about the attraction secrets of a successful single male. Whether you attract the woman or you don’t, it’s all practice. The more you interact with women, the better you get at it. So get out there and start trying and, if you don’t succeed at first, realize that you just got some practice for the next opportunity that comes along. Once you learn to interact, you learn to attract.