Dating a Swedish Female
So you want to know how to date a Swedish girl. Maybe you have a Swedish exchange student in your high school or college class. Maybe you’re thinking about spending a year in Sweden. Maybe you’ve become online friends with a Swedish girls, or the two of you have met through an Internet singles site.
Whatever the case, you have your eyes set on a beautiful Swedish woman, but you have no idea why she behaves the way she does.
Worse, you want to start dating this girl, but everything she does is completely different than the American or Canadian girls you know. You have to remember, there are certain cultural differences that come from growing up in Sweden, instead of the United States. Swedish people are raised differently and educated differently. As exotic as you might find her behavior and attitudes, she is going to find your attitude and behavior to be exotic or even strange.
To break down the cultural barrier, here are a few tips for courting a Swedish girl. Not everyone is the same, but you could say these are typical traits you might want to attune yourself to.
1. Be Funny
A good sense of humor tends to be attractive wherever you go in the world, as long as you aren’t too sarcastic and too cocksure with your attitudes. Being able to laugh at life and share a laugh with a girl is important, because that shows her two things. One, it shows her that you are interested in her beyond physical qualities, because you’re willing to share a laugh and appeal to her mind. Two, a sense of humor shows you have a certain confidence in yourself to laugh and carry on.
Too much of a good thing will be bad, though. Don’t show a big ego or be too negative or wry in your humor. Laugh, don’t chide, with your humor. Don’t show yourself to be arrogant or negative in your comedy. Also, your self-confidence can go too far, if it comes across as a big ego.
2. Be Smart
Swedes are among the well-educated and most liberal people in the world. They come from one of the most socialist political systems in the world that is much more secular than American politics. Sweden was a neutral even durign World War II and the Cold War, while they tend to believe in environmental issues, intervening in social issues through the government and gender equality. Science tends to outweigh religion in most spheres of interest, especially how each affects political and governmental decisions.
If you want to date a Swedish girl, you’re likely to impress her more if you show your intellectual, secular side than if you want to discuss faith and religion up front. Conservative Americans might win the heart of a Swede, but that’s less likely to happen. Intellectualism and an attention to history and science will probably impress a Swedish girl more than Bible studies and your devotion to Pat Robertson.
3. Take Your Time
You’re going to have to read a Swedish woman a little differently than an American woman. She might be a little more shy of physical contact than an American might be right up front, so don’t take her shyness or seeming aloofness the same as you would from a North American. If she seems to dig you and enjoy your company, that probably means she’s into you. Patience could be rewarded, if you maintain the romance a little while longer. You may find your Swedish girlfriend will be more reliable and honest than her American counterpart, if the two of you do finally get together. It’s hard to generalize, but that’s my experience, at least.
4. Text Her – Don’t Call Her
Don’t be calling her on the phone all the time. This is considered a little bit more of an intrusion than it would be in North America. Even with Americans, most women don’t want you to call them all the time, especially if they aren’t sure they want to date you.
As I’ve said before, nothing good can happen on long phone calls. You can’t show real affection and a dry recitation of how your day went is not going to sweep a woman off her feet. It’s better to text her to express something clever and let her know (subtly, not directly) that she’s on your mind. Calling her several times a day is likely to be a turn-off. Those kinds of calls are less frequent in Sweden.
5. Treat Her Different Than Your Girl Friends
Showing public affection with your female friends is going to be something different to a girl from Sweden, where public shows of affection aren’t quite as open among friends. If you kiss the cheek or touch on your woman friends, a Swedish girl is likely to interpret this in a different fashion than Americans would.
Keep your hands and lips to yourself around your intimate lifelong friends of the opposite sex or she’s likely to get the wrong message. This is more of a cultural sensitivity thing, but you also show you look at her in a different fashion than the other girls you interact with.
Below are some typical Swedish traits. These may or may not apply, but if we’re playing the odds, these are likely to be in effect.
- Swedish families tend to show less physical and emotional affection for one another than Americans. A childhood in Sweden can carry over into adult relationships.
- Eye contact and handshakes are less common among Swedes than Americans. You might say that Swedish people are a little more repressed in this way. While Swedes crave social contact, it isn’t something which comes natural.
- Swedes tend to have close knit friendship circles and don’t make new friends that easily. They might be critical of their friends, but don’t assume they are not tight with these people.
- Sweden is a secular society and they are taught from an early age that religion has few tangible benefits. Start talking about your religion and faith and that’s likely to be seen as something alien to a Swede.
- Swedish people tend to view war as antiquated, barbaric and unnecessary. To a typical Swede, just about any war is a bad idea. Sweden has remained out of warfare since 1814, so they view war as something unnatural and strange.
- Swedes have one of the most liberal outlooks in the world. They tend to view global warming as a growing danger in the world and the likeliest way the human race is going to destroy its civilization and way of life. They also view socialism as something other peoples should strive for.
Once again, these are the conventional traits of a Swedish person. You could say these are stereotypes, even. Individuals may depart from the norms radically. But stereotypes exist for a reason, because most people of a nationality tend to exhibit these behaviors. So if you’re playing the odds when wanting to date a Swedish girl, you should be cognizant of the trends.