Chances are you have experienced at least one breakup in your life. If so, then you know how painful and devastating they can be. Once you realize that it is over, you can lose all motivation to do anything but dwell on what went wrong and what you lost. Breakups can be extremely hard to get over and some people spend years learning to cope with them.
So how do you move on with your life after a breakup? Some people heal quickly but others, especially after a particularly painful breakup, need some help getting over it. If you have been struggling to get your life back in order, there are some things you can try that will help take your mind off the pain and get you back on track.
Make A Clean Break
When breaking up with someone, you should make a complete and clean break. Get everything out that you want to say and leave nothing undone. Unfinished business with your ex can linger for a long time. You tend to go back to the things that you wish you had said or should have done and regret them.
Unfinished business can fester the longer it goes without any resolution. A clean break can bring everything to a close and leave you a clear path to move on.
Stay Away From Them
Once you break up with someone, if you cannot remain friends then you should not be around them. Stay away from your ex because every time you see them it is going to reopen those wounds. Seeing your ex is a reminder of the pain that you feel.
If your ex frequents the same places that you do or has the same circle of friends as you, then you may need to find a new place to hang out or find out ahead of time if your ex is going to be there.
Even if you remain friends after a breakup, moving on with your life can still be difficult. Give yourself some time away from them to get over the breakup before you start hanging out again.
Get Rid of The Mementoes
Gifts, photos, and other mementoes are just reminders of your time together. Keeping photos of your ex all around the house is not healthy. Looking at their image will just cause you to pine away for them and may cause you to regret the breakup. Do yourself a favor and put the photos away (or if you are angry enough, burn them).
Gifts should go the same way as photos. You know that necklace they gave you for your last birthday or that cute teddy bear they won for you at the fair? Don’t rely on sentimental values and hang on to them. If the gifts were expensive or you just don’t want to throw them away, then just put them up. Keep them out of sight. Some day you may be able to pull them out again without feeling any lingering emotions.
Spend Time With Friends And Family
Surrounding yourself with loved ones is one of the best medicines for getting over a breakup. Friends and family can offer you the support you need to get over the rough time. They will tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear, to help you heal.
Hanging out with friends and having a good time will take your mind off the breakup. Laughter is a great stress relief. But be careful if you go out drinking. Too much alcohol on a recently broken heart can lead to a meltdown.
Get Out Of The House
Don’t just sit around the house moping while the take-out boxes pile up around the house. You need stimulation to get over a breakup. Go out and see a movie (but not a romantic comedy). Go shopping for some new clothes, eat out with a friend, or go for a walk. Anything that lets you look at something besides the same four walls is good.
Take A Vacation
A break from everything can be just the ticket. Plan a vacation, even a short one, just to get out of town for a while. Go someplace that will take your mind off of the breakup. If you want some time to think, choose a quiet destination like the beach. If you want to completely forget about the breakup for awhile, then go someplace livelier like a new city with lots of night life.
Start A Journal
Writing down what you are feeling is a good method of working out any confusing emotions. Keeping a journal makes an excellent outlet for expressing how you are feeling and for getting it all out of your system.
You can write down details about the breakup, how you are coping afterwards, reminders on why you broke up, and even goals for what you would like to do now. Try to keep it updated if the breakup is still fresh and don’t hold back on any anger or strong emotions. That is the whole point to having a journal.
A Permanent Change Of Scenery
Sometimes staying in one place is not the best thing for getting over a breakup. If every street corner or every coffee shop reminds you of your ex, then maybe it is time for a change of scenery. If you are able, move to a new location, even if it is just for a short while.
Moving someplace new may seem extreme but it is like starting over. You have a new town and new people to meet. There are new sights, new experiences, and nothing to remind you about your ex.
Pick Up A Hobby
You may need something to keep you mind busy. If your mind is engaged with something else, then you are not dwelling on the recent breakup. Taking up a new hobby is a great method to keep busy.
A new hobby does not mean you sit at home and learn to knit socks. It can be anything from arts and crafts to a new sport. You can start a blog about a subject. You can join a group and get involved. There are hundreds of things you can do and it doesn’t matter what it is as long as it is new and you find it engaging and enjoyable.
Meet New People
Good friends are always supportive. But sometimes you need to meet new friends. It is one of the hardest things to do after a breakup but go out and socialize. It doesn’t have to be for romantic purposes. Just meeting new people is exciting. You can go out to the clubs, parties, or any number of social events where there is a crowd.
If you do meet someone that you are interested in romantically, don’t shy away from them just because you recently broke up with someone else. Finding someone new is the quickest way to get over the ex and move on. Just take it slow and don’t rush into a situation that may cause more heartache on top of what you already have.
Give Yourself Enough Time
They say that time heals all wounds and for the most part that is true. Given enough time and work, the pain of a breakup will eventually go away. But you have to do your part to heal, too. There are more than plenty of people in the world that hold a smoldering grudge against an ex from years ago.
Unless you want to live that that weight on your heart, learn to move on. Give yourself plenty of time to heal in the best way for you. As long as you don’t reopen the wounds, sooner or later you will find that life is good again.