If you don’t know how to use your intuition in dating situations, you could end up in all kinds of trouble. I’m not just talking about disastrous first dates, I’m talking about a real potential for danger. Our intuition is our first line of defense against danger — it is our “gut feeling” or our “instinct” that lets us know to be on the alert.
When you’re on a first date, and your dating partner just isn’t answering questions right, or is using strange body language, your body knows “something is up” and sends up all kinds of red flags. Here’s how to start listening to your five senses and using your dating intuition to weed out losers and potential threats.
- Sight — This may be the most important sense involved in using your intuition. When you meet someone for the first time, there are a few things you need to take stock of visually. Look at the overall picture — how is this person dressed? Don’t pass judgement on their clothing, but notice the details. If you’re a man, and you notice that your female dating partner has chosen a particularly revealing top and very high heels for a first date, you can take that information and use it to your advantage. Either she really likes YOU or she just really likes sex. Likewise for women, if a man is dressed a little “too” snazzy for your first date (or for the location of the date) you can draw all kinds of assumptions from this — maybe he’s a little too into himself for you. Either way, don’t pass judgement just yet. Use your eyes to make a “first pass” and learn a little about a person before they even open their mouth.
- Sound — Listening to a person can be like giving them your own personal polygraph test. A person’s voice can say so much more than the words they choose. If you’re on a first date, and your partner is speaking very quietly using very short syllables, it is safe to assume that something’s “wrong” — they don’t like you, they don’t like the restaurant, they don’t feel well, whatever it is, you know that something’s up. By the same token, if a person is speaking loudly, laughing a lot, speaking clearly and maybe even using some spiffy vocabulary words, you can tell they’re “into you”, having a good time, and interested in the date. Another great use of your ears is to listen to the answers a person gives to your questions. Say you’re a female and you ask a guy his favorite body part on a woman — look into his eyes and listen to his voice as he answers. Combining the two senses, you can tell if the guy is “telling you what you want to hear”, or if he’s giving you an honest answer. Continue this tactic for the rest of your questions, and let your body tell you if this date seems suspect, or like a total bust.
- Touch — The final way to “test” an early date is through the sense of touch. When two people touch, their bodies communicate in a million ways that are completely undetectable. If you’re a guy, for instance, and the date is going well — go ahead and rest your hand gently on top of your date’s hand. Look at her face, her mouth, her eyes, and feel how she responds to her touch. Using your senses of sight and touch, you’ll know if the girl is into you or just wants you to get your dirty hand off of her. The sense of touch is a powerful one, and is a good indicator of a date’s potential “future”. If she doesn’t want to touch you, she won’t want to kiss you, to say nothing of anything sexual.
There are two senses left, right? Taste and smell. These senses become useful when you’re in a potential “date rape” situation. If you’ve ever wondered how you can tell if there’s something fishy about your uncovered drink in a crowded club, use your senses of taste and smell (along with a little common sense) and keep yourself from a potentially life threatening situation. Here’s how:
- Taste and smell — The most likely source of a “date rape drug” is actually alcohol. Get someone drunk enough and you can do just about anything to them. So use your head and try not to drink to the point that you’re out of control. Beyond alcohol, the most common drugs used to incapacitate a person are benzodiazepines (Valium, Xanax, Ativan, etc), ecstasy, or GHB. If your intuition fails, you can use your sense of taste to detect the presence of certain drugs in your drink. GHB or ecstasy often impart a salty taste or smell to a drink, in fact GHB makes a drink taste like baking soda. Benzos like Valium on the other hand are more difficult to detect, therefore you just have to rely on intuition and your ability to protect your drink.
Using intuition and your five senses, you should be able to keep yourself out of potential dating trouble — whether that trouble is a bad second date or a violent attack. Listen to your gut and stay safe.