Writing good mens personal ads is an art form, and something guys getting into online dating often struggle with. Since the women you’re trying to attract are likely to browse through hundreds of mens personals at one time, its going to be easy for her to ignore or overlook a poorly written profile. Besides the picture you include in your personal advertisement, your profile is all the information she has to go on. So you have to make certain your personal ad stands out among the other mens’, while at the same time highlighting your personal traits in a positive, genuine and confident light. That’s a tall order to fill if you aren’t comfortable writing guys personal ads, so here’s a step-by-step guide to writing mens personal ads.
1. Have a Good Headline – The first thing she sees about you is going to be the most important thing. If you don’t stand out or grab her attention, she’s just as likely to keep browsing through profiles. This is the first information she’ll see, but should be the last part of your profile you’ll write. We’ll get back to this later.
2. Be Genuine – Don’t make up a bunch of nonsense about yourself. Take the facts about you and make them appealing. You’ve lived an entire life. You have things you like and things you don’t like. If other people enjoy what you enjoy, there’s no reason it won’t look good on a profile. In the end, you’re trying to attract a woman who’s compatible, so be honest about yourself and you’ll have better results.
3. Be Confident – This ties into #2. Be confident about your profile. Don’t be ashamed of your likes and dislikes or what you expect out of a relationship. That’s you, so you shouldn’t shrink from it. Embrace the person that is you and be confident about him. Confidence is attractive.
4. Be Positive – Once again, staying positive has a certain synergy with both geniuneness and confidence. If you are honest about how you are and you’re confident about that person, then you’re naturally going to come across with positivity. Once again, being positive shows confidence and self-assuredness. It shows you know who you are and you know what you want. That’s attractive.
5. Brainstorm – Keeping points #2-4 in mind, start to brainstorm about those essential things about you that people might embrace, find attractive or find intriguing. When I say brainstorm, I mean come up with anything you can think of to put on paper. Don’t edit yourself right now. You can narrow down later. Come up with at least fifty to a hundred different items about yourself, your likes, your wants and your needs. Get them on paper.
6. Focus On What’s Important – Ask yourself, “what’s important to me”. Answer this in as honest a fashion as possible. Is religion imporant? Is working out most important to you at the moment? Making money? Doing charity work? Driving around in a nice car? Going to concerts? Eating at good restaurants? Decide those one or two things you find most important to you and focus on them. You’re not trying to attract any woman, but a woman who might enjoy spending time with you. So lay it on the line and be honest about what you want.
7. Be Specific – Quirky traits stand out in a profile, so be specific when detailing your strange little quirks. They say people respect perfection, but love imperfection. Liking “all the right things” might get the respect of the women reading your profile, but you’re not likely to stand out from the crowd. One or two quirks give you a human quality.
8. Don’t Tell Everything – Don’t write a life biography for your profile. Attraction is about making her want to learn more. Tell her details, but don’t tell her all the details. Make sure you have something to talk about when you first meet her, so don’t provide your whole life story. Women like a mystery, so if you give details, but don’t explain all the details, you’re bating the hook. That’s alluring. It’s likely to catch her eye and make her want to learn more.
9. Narrow Down the List – Along those same lines, once you have a nice general outline for your profile, start to narrow down and get rid of the information that isn’t essential or attractive. Cover the bases, but don’t include long sections that sound boring or detail-oriented. Where you can combine interesting items from your brainstorming, do so. Where details are hard to convey in a few short words or seem confusing or labored, cut it out. Writing a good personal ad has a lot to do with being good editor.
10. Focus on Her, Too – Discuss what you want in a woman. Talk about the qualities you like in a woman to add a certain amount of positivity. Be honest when listing those qualities and discuss what you find most attractive or most necessary. Second, discuss those things that are “enders”, though keep these to a bare minimum to avoid being too negative. List what’s really important to you and what isn’t negotiable, which shows confidence and purpose. Try to be kind or funny when listing these, but most importantly, be genuine. This is how you make sure you don’t get a load of inappropriate or mismatched women pinging you.
11. Be Specific About Relationships – Definitely discuss the kind of relationship you want: friendship, dating, serious relationship, marriage or purely physical. Don’t mince words and discuss exactly what you are seeking. This part of a mens personals ad is not where you beat around the bush. Not only do you show confidence and decisiveness here, but you are being genuine and saving yourself a lot of wasted time and trouble. And if you aren’t exactly sure what you want, then be honest about that, but in a joking sort of way. “How do I know what I want?” Even then, let the women know your general preference, so they are under no illusions.
12. Make Sure It’s All Included – Make sure you’ve covered yourself, the woman you’re interested in meeting and your relationship. I would suggest just under 50% of your personal ad be devoted to you, while about 30-40% is devoted to the women you prefer, while about 10-20% is devoted to the relationship you would like to have. But make sure all three elements are present.
13. Be a Good Marketer – Once you have your mens personal ad written, give it a rewrite to add the right amount of playful humor and cleverness. Now that you have added in honesty and positivity in a confident fashion, sell yourself. Don’t get too heavy in your profile, or the other mens personals will be more attractive. Make the truth about yourself appealing and attractive.
14. Revisit the Headline – Now that you have your mens personal ad written, go back to the headline and write the perfect headign and first lines for your profile. Once again, these are so important that you need to devote time to them. Now that you have gone through the whole process of writing a mens personal ad, though, the headline should write itself. Be clever, but not too clever.