Dating Horror Stories
I’m interested in hearing people’s online dating horror stories. With a website called “Dating Online”, I certainly don’t want to scare people off from internet dating. At the same time, I don’t want people to think I’m some shill for the online dating industry, either.
Given all the “how to date online” and “dangers of dating” posts I make, readers probably aren’t surprised I’d introduce “dating horror stories” subject anyway. I think we might pick out a pattern in what to watch out for and what to avoid when dating online.
Bad Online Dating Stories
To get things started, let me relate several short online dating stories that I’ve learned either from friends or from reading about the internet dating scene. I’ve never had the really crazy personal online date or online relationship, but that’s probably because I practice all the dating tips I preach and therefore have kind of weeded out most of the real crazies from my online dating life.
Still, online dating is like practicing safe sex: you can do everything right and it’s not going to work 100% of the time. So with that rather graphic image in your mind, let’s move on to the online dating horror stories.
Online Dating Horror Story #1 – The Felonious Girlfriend
I knew a guy (Kevin) who met a girl online who actually lived within 40 minutes of him. They started chatting online and really hit it off. Within a couple of weeks, they had their first date and seemed to have romantic chemistry. The sex was great and they both seemed really into one another.
Against my advice, Kevin moved in with the girl within six weeks of their first meeting online. Rooming with your love partner is an amazing temptation, especially in a bad economy. Of course, he didn’t have the time to really get to know her, so he was setting himself up for a whole bag of surprises. That’s exactly what he got.
First off, Kevin found out she had a criminal record. Sure, that was supposedly in the past, but her family wasn’t in the past. Just like the girlfriend, her entire family lived in the area. She had two suspicious brothers and a sister who was always butting in.
This might have been understandable if this was just concern about their sister meeting some stranger and moving in with him immediately. But it turns out the family had huge interpersonal conflicts and loved to argue with one another, feud with one another and generally make each others’ life a complete disaster. These were the kinds of people who drive someone into a life of crime.
Even that might have been workable, except the girlfriend turned out to be the jealous, controlling type. In other words, she tried to drag my friend into her crazy, melodramatic world. The poor guy nearly lost his mind in the six months they lived together. Like he told me at the time, “The sex is great. Everything else is a nightmare.”
Dating Lesson: Don’t move in with someone too quick, especially if you didn’t know them before you started dating. It always amazes me that people hate blind dates, but they don’t mind blind relationships. That is, they’ll just move in with whoever they’re dating at the moment with no regard to what that is going to do to the relationship. Instead of getting to know one another a bit at a time, you’re in one another’s face 24/7. Bad idea.
Online Dating Horror Story #2 – The Narcissistic Boyfriend
Just to show that it’s not all about bagging on the women in our lives, let me tell you about me friend Jamie. Jamie is a sweet girl, but she seems drawn to the wrong type of guy sometimes. In this last case, she ended up dating a narcissist.
I’ve often mentioned that women like confident men, which can be a real shame, when they meet up with a narcissist. Jamie met this guy who was brash and confident and would tell anyone about his success and his life.
Jamie assumed he was just a guy who wanted to impress, so she gave him a chance. They had several of the same interests (dancing, water sports, blogging), so she thought he was worth a date.
Unfortunately, the Narcissist was simply constitutionally incapable of talking about anyone but himself. He would drone on and on about his jet ski, his blogs, all his “hot” ex-girlfriends. On the date, he simply would not ask Jamie about her life and her interests, as if she was only there to listen to how great he was.
In fact, when she interjected to take subject off the Narcissist, he would look bored, then raise his voice louder and louder, drawing attention to himself. It was obvious this guy wanted attention, no matter how he got the attention.
Well, it was obvious to those Jamie told about this date, but not necessarily Jamie. I mean, dinner conversation sucked, but he can’t talk over the dance track or a jet ski (well, kinda the jet ski, when you’re riding two-on). But there was enough slack time and enough activity that Jamie, knowing that she didn’t want any part of this guy, decided to give him a second date.
This one was more traditional, and more disastrous. She found that he wasn’t trying to impress her – that’s just the way he was. On his second date, he was even worse. Once or twice, he compared Jamie unfavorably to one of his recent ex-girlfriends. Jamie knew this would be the end, or at least she thought it would be.
Wait a month or two, and suddenly the Narcissist calls her one night – drunk. He’s ranting about some new ex-girlfriend, then asks Jamie out again. This happened several times over the next few months, because a narcissist can’t imagine a women doesn’t want him around.
Dating Lesson: If a guy seems full of himself, he is. If a guy isn’t interested in asking you questions about yourself, he’s not really into you. The same goes for guys dating a girl. When they don’t seem interested in learning about you, that person has some motive besides establishing a real relationship with you. It’s as simple as that.
Internet Dating Horror Story Submissions
Anyway, there are two online dating horror stories. Looking back, the first story is actually more horrific than the second.
Kevin actually ended up living with a psycho. Jamie just wasted a few nights of her life with an out-of-control egomaniac. It’s not illegal to be a narcissist, and she did get some water sport and a little bit of dancing in, so it wasn’t a complete horrific mess.
But I’m sure there have to be a million dating horror tales to tell. So let’s hear them.