At some point in every long term relationship, sex becomes . . . tricky.
I was with a woman for almost 6 years. After months of little or no sexual interest, I decided it was time to talk about it. Turned out we both felt the same way: “I still want to have sex, just not with you.”
This was an extreme case. The two of us should have broken up years before, and looking into our sex life led us to make the right decision.
Couples retreats & better sex aim to do something like what my ex girlfriend and I did – no, not break up couples, but get them to really look into their hearts and talk in a new way about their sexual life. If you have found your couple’s intimacy level in a nosedive, consider going to one of many couples retreats designed to teach couples how to once again share their physical love with one another.
Better sex, not just more of it – that is the goal of sexually related couples retreats. Known as Intimacy Retreats or even Sex Retreats (though this makes it sound a little more kinky than it really is), these courses are usually taught by people trained in the specific field of couples counseling, usually with Master’s degrees in a human science field, some of whom are even certified “sexual counselors”.
Types of Intimacy Retreats
We’ve summarized different types of intimacy retreats below.
Tantra Couples Sex Retreats
There has been a huge rise in the popularity and availability of intimacy retreats focusing on the teachings of Tantra. Derived from Hindu teachings on the union of men and women. The word “Tantra” is loosely applied to many different teachings, some of them contradictory to others. Every teacher of “Tantra” will likely have a differing opinion on certain aspects of the practice. Remember, you’re not learning a religion, you’re learning to have better sex with your partner.
Don’t be scared of “Tantra” because of misconceptions you may have about it. Popular culture and the exploits of celebrities have led us to believe that “tantric sex” refers to long periods of slow, ritualistic, non-orgasmic intercourse in order to reach a state of enlightment. This is wrong, and is just a convenient stereotype for people to bash something they don’t understand.
Tantric retreats offer lessons in sexual intimacy as derived from a variety of Eastern spiritual sources. Along with these lessons, Tantra based intimacy retreats usually offer lessons in massage, gourmet meals, comfortable and private accommodations (to do your “homework”), and a wide variety of package options that may include more specific activities like horseback riding or hiking.
T’ai Chi and Yoga Couples Retreats
Not all intimacy retreats will concentrate on sexual activity – there are retreats designed to introduce couples to better sex using regulated exercise, such as T’ai Chi, Yoga, or Pilates. T’ai Chi Chuan is is an ancient series of exercise moves which represent the ideas of ‘yin and yang’, masculine and feminine, through movement. T’ai Chi investigates the active and the passive aspects of our movement which can be applied directly to lovemaking. T’ai Chi, when it is done properly, looks and feels much like a graceful dance. It is a sequence of movements smoothly connected to one another, and is purportedly good for stress relief and even the relief of chronic pain. No more excuses about being “too stressed” or “having a headache” – the idea is to include the ritual of T’ai Chi into your daily life to improve you and your partner’s sexual intimacy.
Yoga classes that work specifically toward the goal of improving your sex life can be a kind of intimacy retreat. You and your partner attend classes that are now sprouting up everywhere – suggesting exercises and movements from Yoga that will improve the quality of sex between you and your lover. I have to tell you, I’ve done these classes with a girlfriend, and it was amazing – she learned a simple breathing exercise that made her climax incredibly strong. I’d give away the secret, but that would keep you from actually going to the Yoga for better sex class – an experience you shouldn’t miss.
Christian Marriage Retreats
While these retreats do not focus the entire retreat on sex, Christian may feel more comfortable talking about sex and intimacy around other Christians. I guarantee any Christian marriage retreat will focus on physical intimacy and its importance to all marriages, even those grounded in the teachings of Christ. These intimacy courses won’t be the same as the other “Intimacy Retreats” – less explicit, and with heavy doses of Christian guidance in increasing intimacy, but for many people this is what they’re looking for. Christian marriage retreats are seriously popular and you are sure to find one in your area.
How to Find a Couple’s Retreat for Better Sex
You can do your own internet searching – this allows you to make your own terms. If you’re looking for a Tantric retreat in Arizona for same sex couples, you can get your search engine warmed up and skim over results that match your desires.
Another good internet resource for finding all kinds of retreats – marriage, sex, and intimacy retreats being just a small percentage of what is available – is retreat finder. Here you will find basic and advanced search options for find your retreat as well as detailed information on specific retreats, advice from counselors and retreat attendees, even jobs for counselors or retreat sites “for sale”. This is a kind of one stop shop for all things retreat related, and is an invaluable tool in your search for better sex through a retreat experience.
You can also look for retreats in your area by looking for posters. At the local health food store, they are likely to post information on spiritual retreats, tantric retreats, even yoga classes and other intimacy boosting events. Your church may offer services of their own, which will be announced in the bulletin at weekly service, or posted on bulletin board somewhere.
Couples retreats aimed at improving your sex life can only help –maybe you and your partner will decide what I had to decide those years ago, but a trip to an intimacy retreat could show you that with a little work, you and your partner can enjoy one another for a long time. A lack of sexual intimacy can destroy a couple, and if you value your relationship, spending a little money and a weekend with your partner working on intimacy could be the best investment you make this year.