So you have found someone interesting and you are all set for your first date. You know you want to make a good impression. You know you want to seem attractive, interesting, and have a memorable evening. First dates require a lot of preparation, more so than second or third dates. The first date is your chance to really shine and get them hooked to you. But even if you are an experienced player, there is a lot of pressure. Every date is different and not everyone likes the same things. If you need some first date ideas or have some first date questions, here are some useful tips for a first date.
First Date Ideas
1. Pick a good location. Make sure it is a place your date will be comfortable. You don’t want to take her to a gothic underground club if she isn’t into that sort of thing. Try to be creative in the location.
Unless they are into dinner and a movie, don’t plan anything traditional. You want to choose a spot where you can converse and get to know one another. You can’t do that at a movie.
Some good ideas are to go to dinner and then dancing. You can schedule a tour around the city or, if you live near the ocean, around the bay. Other cool first date ideas are the zoo, museums, going on a photography excursion, or even getting together with some friends.
2. Dress accordingly. You always want to look your best on a first date. This means showered, clean, and nice clothes. You also want to dress according to where you are going. If you are planning on an evening at an elegant restaurant, you will want to dress more formally. If you are going to someplace more casual, dress the part.
You should pay attention to how you dress and make sure that what you are wearing looks good on you. Even if you go to a rock concert, torn jeans and messed up hair may not be your best choice. If you can’t judge for yourself, get a friend to help you out with your wardrobe.
3. Be yourself. Don’t be fake or someone you are not. Don’t pretend to like something just because they like it. Your date needs to learn who you are and like you for yourself. Pretending to be someone you are not is a lie and sooner or later, your date is going to find out.
4. Surprise your date by not telling them where you are going. Everyone likes surprises (at least the good kind). This is a great way to build up the date in your partner’s mind and, if the date is a success, will leave a lasting impression.
Just make sure that the secret location is something your date would enjoy. If you take your date to a poetry reading and poetry puts them to sleep, you probably won’t get a second date.
5. Don’t forget your manners. Chances are you were on your best behavior when you scored the date. Don’t let up just because you got the person to go out with you. You still need to be that same person they found interesting when you first met. Say please and thank you. Don’t make rude or crash comments in front of them. And guys should always hold the doors open for the ladies.
6. Be positive. Don’t complain during the first date. You want to come off as a positive person, not as a negative one who isn’t happy unless they have something to gripe about. Even if you do not like something about the date such as the food or traffic is bad, don’t go on a tirade about it. You will not come off as looking good to your date.
7. Have an idea for some interesting and intelligent conversation. A good way to kill a first date is to stare at each other through awkward silences. A first date should be engaging, interesting, and stimulating.
This does not mean you should start up a debate on a topic. Your date may have a different view on a subject than you. Don’t start picking apart their beliefs just to prove you are right. Be courteous and respectful of the thoughts and ideas of others, even if they don’t mesh with your own.
8. Listen to what they have to say. The date is not a chance for you to deliver a monologue. Even if you have had an interesting life and adventured around the world, cut it short. You want the other person to know that you are interested in them. Get them to talk about themselves and listen. Comment on what they say. This proves you were actually listening.
9. Don’t act too desperate for a second date. You don’t want the other person to feel that you are clingy or insecure. Confidence is the key and people find that more attractive than desperation.
Also, don’t be too easy. Let them chase you a little. A first date is similar to a game of cat and mouse. You want them to feel that you are a prize to be won, not a token to be picked up at their leisure.
10. Get a little physical. It is perfectly fine to hold hands or even lightly put an arm around someone if the moment calls for it. Physical touch is very intimate and can create a positive connection between the two of you.
On the other hand, getting a little physical does not mean you put your hands all over them. They are on a date with you, not a squid. Keep some boundaries and don’t cross them until you get a signal that it is okay. If all goes well, you can get more intimate on later dates.
Questions About First Dates
1. What if the date is not going well?
Sometimes there just isn’t a connection. If you are halfway through your date and you realize that the person is not as interesting as you had hoped, don’t just end the date in mid-stride. Be courteous and finish the date. You might be able to cut it a little short by making up some excuse like having to get to work early in the morning. But don’t be rude about it.
2. What about sex?
This is a question that doesn’t have a definite answer. Some people, men and women both, expect sex on a first date. It depends on how the date goes. A good rule of thumb to live by is that it is okay to hope for it but don’t expect it. If you hold out until later dates, though, you might gain more respect than if you hopped right into bed.
3. When should you call them again?
Again, this is entirely up to you but it is rude to make them wait a week or more before you call them again. You don’t have to call the person the day after your first date but sometimes that can be romantic. It shows that you are really interested. No one really likes to have ‘the waiting game’ played on them. You should definitely call sometime in the next two days. Anymore will get your date to wondering if things went as well as they thought.
4. Who should pay for dinner?
The age of feminist rights and equality have change dup a lot of the ways in how we conduct dates. But unless the women brings it up that she will pay for her way or for the entire date, the man should be prepared to foot the bill. On later dates, the two of you can work this out.