Google “womens personals ads” and the first page of google results turn up guides for men to translate what women are saying on their personals. For instance, there’s a page that says “Dictionary For Decoding Women’s Personal Ads” from the Best of Craigs List, a women’s personals ads guide from Dave’s Daily Fun Pages, and a glossary from No Marriage Dot Com with the title “Real Meaning of Words in Women’s Personal Ads”. These articles put a negative spin on common words and terms women write in their personal profiles at online dating sites.
What Men Are Think – Women’s Personal Ads
I’m not saying these women’s personals guides are correct or true. Don’t get me wrong when you read the rest of this article. What I am saying is that there will be a significant number of men who takes these womens exposes and believe them. So when you’re writing your online dating personal ad, you need to keep these lists in mind. It doesn’t matter what your words truly mean, if men believe they mean something else, then your profile could be turning away the men you’re wanting to attract. For instance, when you write “outgoing”, men might think you really mean “loud and embarrassing”.
Now, you might be saying to yourself, “Do I want a man who actually believes this tripe they’re writing about us women?”
Think about it.
Good guys might be just as curious about an insider’s view of what women are thinking and writing on their online personal ads as you are about writing good personals. That is, you’re reading an article about writing better personal ads, so it’s natural to think that reasonable men will be reading about better understanding and profiling women’s personal ads. Many of these men might get a chuckle from these personals glossaries and never think a thing about it again, but a few of those definitions and translations might stick in their head the next time they browse online personals ads.
So you just want to avoid being an unintentional turnoff.
Womens Personal Ads Translated
The terms that most often come up on these personal online ads dictionaries include the following terms:
- New Age
- Old Fashioned
- Friendship First
- Wants Soul Mate
- Free Spirit
- Emotionally Secure
- Seeking Gentleman
- Sick of Bar Scene
- Fun Loving
- Snuggling and Warm Fires
- Tired of Games
These terms sound innocuous, don’t they?
Most of them sound fun or attractive. But those words could have connotations that you don’t intend, simply because some smartass bitter about the online dating scene decided to put together their own list of womens personals terms.
So what’s a girl to do?
Avoid Women’s Personal Ads Cliches
Don’t use those terms when you’re filling out your own personal ads for an online dating service. That might sound extreme or reactionary, but think of it this way: those words make the lists because guys see them in women’s personal ads all the time. They might not have the connotations that the cynics say they do, but those words and terms have become a cliche nevertheless.
Every guy searching through women’s online personals have seen women describe themselves with those terms hundreds and hundreds of times. If you use the same terms and descriptions every other woman on an internet dating site is using, then you’re not going to stand out.
Get Creative – Women’s Personal Ads Advice
Go update your personal ad on all the dating websites you’ve joined. Take out every single one of the words listed above. Find some new, fresh way to describe yourself. Be creative and expressive and – even better – be specific when describing your likes, dislikes, personality, traits and moods.
Stand out from the crowd of “intelligent“, “eccentric” and “fun loving” women who are “sick of the bar scene” and “tired of games” and who are “seeking a gentlemen“. If your personal ad reads something like that, then you’re sounding like a whole lot of other womens personal ads. It all might be true, but that’s not the point.
Be Positive – Be Genuine – Be Creative
When you limit yourself to avoiding cliches, that forces you to be creative. Also, when you avoid negative statements like “sick of the bar scene” and “tired of games“, you force yourself to be positive. Even if you are tired of the usual bar scenes, convey those emotions in a different way that is more positive and upbeat. One way to do that is to be specific and to be playful at the same time. Describe an incident that caused you to “get out” of a scene, but do it in a way that’s going to come off as you’re willing to laugh at yourself as much as laugh at some guy just trying to do what guys do in a bar: pick up women. Because, truth be told, the guys reading your profile are going to relate to that poor dude in the story more than they’re going to relate to you.
Finding a way to relate where you’re at in life and love and do it in a positive way is tricky. The thing is, most people reading online dating profiles are probably sick of the bar scene. You know that, which is probably why you place that in your personal ad. But it really goes without saying. Maybe it’s better you just leave out the negative stuff and talk about your hopes and dreams. As the old saying goes, you attract more with honey than vinegar.
At the very least, if you submit a personal ad with different words and terms and descriptions than the ten women before you and the ten women after you, your profile is going to stand out. You’ll probably come across as more genuine than the women you’re being compared to, and that’s a huge plus.