So you’ve decided to spend some time (and maybe a tiny bit of money) on an online dating website. You took the time to write a great online dating profile of yourself, including your interests, what kind of person you’re looking for, a nice photo of you, etc. Because of this profile, you may have gotten some notices of “interest” — single people are actually interested in communicating with you. This means you’ve got a potential date, and a potential relationship, just waiting to happen.
Most dating website recommend a first step in communication — the introductory e-mail. Whether you’re responding to someone else’s email or initiating one yourself, you have a chance to hit the ball out of the park and make a perfect first impression, or totally kill any interest in you this person may have had. One thing is for sure — as the cliche says, you only have one chance to make a first impression, so the pressure’s on. Just as you got your head together and wrote a solid dating profile, you’re going to have to compose that all important first email, and even if writing is not your strong suit, we can help you get through it.
Introductions in Dating Websites
The first thing you should know about introductions in dating websites is that its a good idea to take a little time to respond to an interested person. Just like flirting in person, you don’t want to go overboard and “attack” a total stranger with your bone crushingly perfect email introduction. Responding within a couple of hours of their interest will make you look desperate, even a bit creepy. If you’re responding to another person’s interest, you have a couple of days to think about what you want to say and how to say it. If, on the other hand, you’re writing to someone whose profile you’ve seen and makes YOU interested, rejoice — you have even more time to work on your email. Of course, balance is the key — don’t wait too long, especially before writing to a new interest. Remember that other members of the same website can see the profile that interested you, and someone will likely earn that person’s interest first.
Approach your intro letter as if it were a business letter or a college essay — something important that is worth spending time on. You want to send something polished. You don’t want to sound like an idiot, and you must be sure to put your best foot forward. On the other hand, the examples above are usually kind of impersonal letters, full of factual information about you. This isn’t the direction you want to head. Instead, you should express some interest in the person, and it is best if this is disguised with humor. You need to reveal facts and values about yourself, again cloaked in humor or slight self deprecation, but the point is — be interesting.
Just like being interviewed for a job, you want to show certain important things — yes you want this date, but you must remind the potential date that you have value, that you are worth something and should be considered for a date for other reasons than the bare fact that you “need a date”. This requires a delicate balancing act, but if you steady yourself, put the kibosh on your raging emotions and try to think clearly, the words will come to you just as if you’re talking to someone you just met on the street. I would suggest you write a few sample intro emails and immediately discard the first two. This will get the cliches and the bad ideas out of your head and give you room to shine. Once you’ve written what you consider your final draft, just click the Send button. Remember that this person is seeking someone to date too, otherwise they wouldn’t be on the same dating site as you. They will most likely appreciate that you chose them — it is both a compliment and a good indication that there will be some compatibility between you.
Examples of Dating Introductions
Now that I’ve given you the pep talk, here are some examples of dating introduction that fulfill all of the above requirements — some of these emails are based on actual emails that I’ve used in my time in online dating. I’m happy to say that I’ve formed a long term relationship with a woman I met using one of the very examples below. There is nothing wrong with using these examples as a guide to your own — just do me a favor, and make your words original.
Dating Introduction Example 1
This dating introduction example focuses in pointing similar interests.
Hi (insert name),
I saw your profile and I have to say I think we would be a great match.
Couldn’t help but notice your interest in black and white movies. There’s a Kurosawa film festival coming up in a few weeks, and it would be great to go with a fellow cinema fan.
I think we should get to know each other — we can email at first if you like, but let me know if you want to talk on the phone — sometimes its better to hear each other’s voice.
Good luck with your upcoming promotion. Hope to hear from you soon.
(insert your own name)
Dating Introduction Example 2
This dating introduction example is meant to complement physical features.
Hello (insert name)
I never thought I’d try online dating, but here I am — and I’m so glad I found your profile. We share so many interests — I’m a teacher, too, and I love playing tennis on the weekends.
Your photo caught my eye as well. You have gorgeous eyes, and your smile absolutely made my day.
Let’s email a little bit to see if we’d get along well. I’m playing in a friendly doubles tournament with some friends in a few weeks, and I’d love to bring a solid partner to back me up.
(insert your own name)
Dating Introduction Example 3
Our final dating introduction example has a more general tone that touches on the points of interest, physical attractiveness and a warm closing.
Hi (insert name),
Came across your profile at (insert dating site name), and I was really happy to read your music interests. I’m a huge Beck fan, too! Did you know he’s playing a concert nearby next month? It just so happens I have an extra ticket, and I don’t want to waste it on someone who won’t really enjoy it.
I’m not going to lie, I loved your profile photos. Between your pretty face and your perfect skin, I found I had trouble concentrating on my work.
If you want, email me back. Let’s get to know each other before we hit the concert. (insert some details about yourself)
Looking forward to hearing back from you
(insert your name)
These three dating introduction examples would work on a person looking for a ‘soft sell’ — you’re not coming on too strong, and you’re mentioning specifics about why you think the two of you would be a good match. Notice the casual tone (introducing yourself with a simple “hi” or “hello”) and the lack of heavy handed “love talk”. Flesh out your letter with a few more details about you and your specific “partner”, and you’ll go far in the way of sparking romantic interest.